My husband of 13 years, together 25 years my high school sweetheart, was murdered by hospital protocols. He was only 41 years old.
I won’t let his death be in vain. I’m going to scream the truth from the mountaintops.
The Love Of My Life
“I made sure to remind him not to take Remdesivir or allow them to put him on a ventilator.”
My husband of 13 years, together 25 years (over half my life ), my high school sweetheart, was murdered by hospital protocols. He was only 41 years old.
On November 22nd. I took my husband into the ER, suffering from pneumonia; I didn’t want to take him in, knowing how bad protocols are. I have heard horror stories. I begged my husband not to go because his oxygen level was not that bad. I wanted him to wait it out as the next day; we were picking up ivermectin prescribed to him by a doctor. 4:00 am, he woke me to say he thought he needed to go in. He figured they would send him home with some oxygen maybe give him a steroid shot and a new antibiotic. Every fear I had came true. Before I left him at the ER, I made sure to remind him not to take Remdesivir or allow them to put him on a ventilator. He promised me he would not. My husband told me he told them no Remdesivir, and I had told the Dr.s the same.
Vented Without Consent
Seven days after being in the hospital and on an oxygen mask, his oxygen was still doing pretty good. Staff told me his oxygen was in the mid to upper 90’s ( Normal range ). Same time I had a Dr. call me to have me convince him to go on a ventilator. I told him I would not
do that. My husband was even confused about why they were pushing that so hard. The doctor said to me on the phone that he told my husband, “we will vent you with or without your consent.” When I told him I believed that was illegal, he hung up on me. I quickly texted my husband to make sure he knew that I did NOT CONSENT to a ventilator. I tried calling back to the hospital and got no answers. Later that night, the same doctor called me to inform me my husband was vented hours ago. I never got to talk to my husband prior.
“I knew then my battle had just begun.”
Around day 6 or 7, I began to hear Dr.s tell me, “we are watching his kidneys closely.” When I would ask if he was given Remdesivir against our consent, they would not answer me. It was always either the chart information was not there in front of them, or I needed to speak to another doctor about that, etc. It was not until one day that I got a different nurse on the phone who I had never spoken to before that I went a different approach. This time I made it
sound like I was hopeful he was given Remdesivir because I heard that is a treatment option. When I asked in a positive tone, she responded, “Oh, just let me look in his chart quickly. Yep, he was given three rounds of Remdesivir the week he came in”. I knew then my battle had just begun. Shortly after this conversation, my husband’s kidneys had gone into renal failure, with only 7% function. He now had to be on continuous dialysis, and his body was becoming septic, filling with fluid around his heart and lungs. It was also not until he was placed on the ventilator for about a week that they even allowed me to come and see him. His wife, who has been with him the entire time he was sick, had gotten this virus previously and healed quickly with ivermectin and had built up a natural defense to it.
The Fight For The Right Treatment
“These protocols are not helping patients. Nothing we are giving them will help them get well. We are literally letting patients die.”
I began then pushing for ivermectin to be given to him, which was one of his home meds prescribed by a doctor. I went to court and got nowhere with that. The judge didn’t want to hear from the doctor or me and even ruled no ability to appeal later. The judge was illegally revoking my husband’s legal civil right to try. So I began calling anyone I thought had the power to help. I got a hold of the patient relations department, and they told me, “If you find a physician willing to give it, they will allow it and protect their jobs.” I don’t think they believed I would find anyone. Yet I found four someone's. Before finding the doctor, I had nurses routinely tell me, “These protocols are not helping patients. Nothing we are giving them will help them get well. We are literally letting patients die. Due to politics, we are not
allowed to give them anything that may help “. I had doctors even say the same thing. One doctor, in particular, came into my husband's room while I sat at my husband's bedside and said to me “. I would love to give him ivermectin; I think it could help him. I would give it to my child if it were them lying there. However, due to politics controlling our health care system, sadly today, my hands are tied, I have to think of my paycheck and my livelihood first”. I just snapped there was no asking nicely after that. I told him, “This Christmas, while you’re with your family, I want you to have visions of me sitting here bedside and begging you the only one who can help him, who took an oath of doing no harm to save him. At the same time, you stand there and tell me your paycheck is more valuable shame on you. Most come into healthcare to save lives, not earn a paycheck, but now we know where you stand, sir”. I told him and his two nurses behind him that they would have to stand before the Lord one day, and I would not want to be them when that day of judgment comes. They would tell me this with no emotion behind it, as though it’s been said and addressed too many times to count. They acted as though they were telling me the game rules, and I was to come to terms with it, as this was how it would sadly play out. I was now stuck in the choice we made to go to the hospital for help. It was the wrong choice.
After this meeting with that paycheck motivated dr, the next day, the administrator came to my husband's room with a police officer and asked me to go to a back room. She began to tell me they didn’t like my attitude in the hospital, and I affected the nurse’s care. I told her what the Dr. had told me about his paycheck before lives comment and asked her what attitude she thinks I should have? She stayed quiet and took notes. She then changed the direction and told me that a nurse saw me going into other patients' rooms, which is a health threat /violation. At first, I was angry at being accused of this and told them this was not true, and they knew it. However, I thought about it and realized they have cameras everywhere inside that unit. In my husband’s room, I assume all the rooms and in the halls. They know if I did or did not, so they know that answer was no. So what they were saying without directly saying it was,….. you keep messing with our protocols and speaking out like you are, that will be our story, and that will prevent you from seeing your husband again. I was being set up with blackmail, more or less. I realized how deep of an evil game this hospital was playing.
“ We are proud of you for standing up and doing this fight. We need it. Know you are not alone; we have your back “.
When I found a doctor willing to try ivermectin and the other vitamins, etc., the frontline
doctors recommended. He told me he just wanted to know other doctors had his back. So I took all the doctors I found on board and brought them together. COURAGE IS CONTAGIOUS. The next day, I came into the hospital to see the nurses waiting for me. They gathered around me to tell me, “ we are proud of you for standing up and doing this fight. We need it. Know you are not alone; we have your back “. One nurse printed up many articles on ivermectin helping to save lives. Research articles that he said would hold up as credible documents. They told me to give these to any doctors questioning it. The nurses gathered around me and thanked me. Then apparently, they gathered around the Dr. I found too. Let’s call him DR M. For now. Dr. M came into my husband’s room to tell me that I was right. The other Dr.s names I gave him are all on board with supporting him, and the nurses on the floor gathered around him to say that too. That was good enough for him, he said. He said, “let’s do this.” I asked if I could hug him, and he let me. The next day I brought the meds up for ivermectin to be given. I had to have it inspected by the hospital pharmacy to confirm that’s what it was. The pharmacy attempted to stop it from coming up. They wanted the administration to deny it. Just because it’s not protocol. The nurse asked, “when did this become our new policy in how we do things ?” I had to call Dr. M about what was happening, and he contacted the chief of staff to get the meds brought up as they should be. We succeeded and got the meds to my husband. By 9 pm on that Monday, my husband was given 76mg of ivermectin, his first dose. He was set to be given it for five days, and if it showed positive results, it would continue for ten days. The first night it was delivered, his blood oxygen level went from 64% to 100% overnight. His Vent setting went from 100% to 65% need in 3 days. My husband was improving. He held his own at 100% pulse/blood oxygen level and steady heart rate and blood pressure while weaning off the ventilator. I finally, at last, could go home, shower, and relax.
Revoked And Back To Protocol
Then before the 4th dose was to be given. A Dr. from infectious disease came in to revoke him off the ivermectin. To remove DR M orders. Saying because it’s not hospital “protocol.” Then she took herself off his case. A Hit and run, if you will. No communication prior, during, or after. She handed the case over to another Dr. that has never worked with my husband and had no contact with us earlier, during, or after. My husband began to decline in health after he was cut off from what was working. A little research into their drug company payouts shows that they are paid by ( her - Janssen ) & him – GILEAD, which is the company that pushes Remdesivir over ivermectin. Yet both are listed as a treatment option on the NIH website. Motive, perhaps, right?! I also made many attempts to request that his ventilator be moved to a trache instead. There were many opportunities for them to do this. Still, they knew I wanted to have him transferred to a different facility, and it’s my opinion; they knew keeping him on the vent with it down his mouth would prevent me from successfully getting him transported. It felt like they were holding his body hostage in a dangerous environment. I was scared for my husband’s life in their care. I was told two weeks max is the longest one should have a ventilator down the throat to avoid damage to the vocal cords or erosion in the throat. My husband was kept on a ventilator in that manner from November 30th – to January 3rd the day of his murder. After the two weeks on the vent, I could see the hospital’s care towards my husband changing. It felt like they were waiting for him to die vs. trying to get him well. He had bleeding going on inside; no one was concerned about why. His ventilator had a tear in the balloon that was inside his throat/chest cavity area that they said they didn’t want to replace. He developed a horrible bedsore on his tailbone area that no one wanted to answer me if they were even treating it. Then they kept him on the paralyzing drugs/sedation for 14 days straight up to the time of his death. Prior they would tell me that keeping anyone on the paralytics is dangerous if it goes past 48 hours. That weaning them off is critical, yet after that change in care, they kept him on those drugs against my wishes for 14 days straight. When I’d ask for him to be removed from them, no one would honor my voice for him.
The End Of Our Love Story
“Suppose they all stood up and said no more. They would force change. Until then, I plan to fight for it just like I did for my husband’s life /civil rights”.
One day later, I checked on my husband and found him sweating all over without a fever. His pulse oxygen was dropping, and I didn’t know why. The nurse on staff with him didn’t act like this was normal. So I called Dr. M to tell him what I saw; he knew he was going through a cytokine storm right away. The nurse on staff had no idea what that even was. Keep in mind this is an ICU unit where the news says they have Covid patients all the time, yet they never heard of a cytokine storm. Something I knew what it was. His body was attacking itself. I heard Dr. M say, “if we don’t act fast and do something now, we may lose him tonight.” Dr. M. Put him on a high-dose steroid nine times the strength of anything he was given. Dr. M said he should have been on this long ago, not the “Protocol” low dose steroids they routinely give everyone. Dr. M put him on the heavy dose steroid and Benadryl every 4 hours.
My husband went through a long night. I stayed beside him for 17 hours straight, praying over him. He made it through the night, and his pulse oxygen was back in the ’90s, and a nurse who has worked in ICU for 40 years was with him. I felt safe to run home and feed our pets quickly and return. I was wrong. Just like when visiting hours end, every family sees changes for the worst in their loved ones. In the 4 hours or less I was gone, I got a call that a Dr. from the ICU unit got his nose out of place that DR M wrote him an order for that high dose steroid that is not “protocol.” The ICU Dr. wanted it revoked. He told Dr. M that it is not your patient today that it’s his. He won’t break protocol. Dr. M said that if you take that man off this drug, especially cold turkey, you could kill him. Should this be about what is best for the patient vs. whose patient that is? This is not a turf war Dr. M said to him. I had to call the chief of staff to fix this, saying, I want this ICU Dr. off my husband's case effective IMMEDIATELY because I fear for my husband's life. I want Dr. M back on his case NOW. We got it corrected, and the ICU Dr. conceded off my husband’s care. Though that gap in medical care/attention took a toll on my husband’s body. His blood oxygen level was now at a dangerous 40%. His body was now in fight or flight mode and trying to keep his vital organs functioning. ( heart, lungs, brain ). Letting the rest of the organs die off. I was called to get back there cause my husband was dying. Dr. M sat with us and cried because he tried so hard to save him against protocols. He told me doing CPR if he codes would not prolong his life but his death. The hardest thing I ever had to hear. I was losing my best friend. He was being ripped from me by greed.
They Stole Our Future
The hospital was getting around $45,000 from his death alone, not counting the days on the ventilator pay. Although the hospital thought differently, there was no price tag on my husband’s life. I played our wedding dance song one last time. Me and You by Kenny Chesney and told him how much I loved him and how proud of him I was, and I told him how sorry I was that time ran out and I couldn’t save him from this. I told him to go home and be with Jesus to watch over me in the next battle cause my fight was not done. This is not done. I won’t let his death be in vain. I’m going to scream the truth from the mountain tops. My husband was MURDERED. They stole our future. Every dream we had planned. Starting a family, gone, travel plans canceled, His new business lost, and so forth. He was only 41 years old and had so much to live for. He never needed to be vented or given Remdesivir like he was. They destroyed not one life but 2. For mine will never be the same. I wake up to look at four walls and live in silence. No laughter, no human touch, no conversations, no dreams. Just a nightmare I can’t wake up from. Everyone that is taking money for letting this happen will be held accountable. If not in trial here soon, then judgment day. I would not want to be any of them. No job in the world is worth this. Suppose they all stood up and said no more. They would force change. Until then, I plan to fight for it just like I did for my husband’s life /civil rights. I plan to make changes happen. I will not let my husband’s murder go unnoticed, and his life be in vain. They messed with the wrong power couple.
Ryan sadly went in on November 22nd looking for help and died at the hands of deadly protocols on January 3rd, 2022, at 6:05 pm. Thank you for letting me share my story; I can’t believe our love story ends this way. I would never have thought it was this bad in hospitals. The hospitals and the oath keepers of doing no harm are responsible for countless lives leaving this world this way daily. May God have mercy on their souls. May God help me to push forward and find our next chapter.