My dad was an attorney and had been working up until the day he got sick. He wasn’t your “typical” 80-year-old.
I feel like I failed him. I will never forgive myself. I miss him so much.
“So he hadn’t eaten for at least a week. He also was not given any fluids.”
On October 31, 2021, my dad felt sick so he got a COVID test and it came back positive. It started to affect him mentally. He was confused, very confused, and not able to communicate. As a result of the family encouraging me to take him to the hospital, I unfortunately did. He went in with no temp and oxygen in the high 90’s. Basically, they kept him on the covid Floor while they ran tests. He was doing fine. No Pneumonia and his breathing was great. Even though he didn’t “qualify” for Remdesivir due to not needing oxygen, they gave him 5 days of it along with steroids. At this time he was refusing to eat. One of his nurses told me, annoyed, that “He refused to eat and that’s his choice! I’m not going to make him.” I called to speak to the Charge Nurse and the “annoyed” nurse got on the phone acting as the charge nurse!! She proceeds to tell me, “Well, we are all in charge.” I tell her that he isn’t consciously making the decision to not eat or drink. He is confused. So he hadn’t eaten for at least a week. He also was not given any fluids.
No Choice But to Intubate
After about 2 weeks he was transferred to a rehab. They tell me he came there with severe pneumonia. I had not been told that at the hospital. He was in rehab for a few days and literally began to die. He was gasping for air and his eyes were rolled back. They transfer him to a different hospital and discover he not only has severe pneumonia, but diverticulitis with an abscess and is now septic. The first hospital missed this completely. At this point, I had no choice but to have them intubate him. The ICU doctor also stated that he was extremely dehydrated. (a result of the first hospital).
He was sedated for about 5 days. The nurse mentioned the doctor wanted to wean him but she thought he needed to be on longer because of all the secretions he had. They weaned him and he was doing “so so” and they sent him to the step-down. He took a turn for the worse so they sent him back to the ICU and Intubated him again. He was intubated for about 2.5 weeks. At this time he developed a bedsore so bad that the bone was visible. It was the size of a salad bowl. My dad was full code.
They Never Intended to Heal Him
“He had suffered so throughout this horrible ordeal, where the doctors followed the death protocol..”
They were constantly asking me to sign a DNR. Some of the conversations were he is 80 and has had a good life. Because of the bedsore, he may never recover, etc. I believe they were trying to open up a bed because, at this time, the hospital was completely filled. I felt as if his life wasn’t worth their time because of his age. Mind you, my dad was an attorney and had been working up until the day he got sick. He wasn’t your “typical” 80-year-old. So, he was released back to rehab where he was doing “so so.” We got a call that they found him on the floor and struggling to breathe. This nursing home is another story. Completely neglectful. They fed him food when he was not to have any. He had a feeding tube. So after this, the fall and breathing issues, he was sent back to the hospital.
He then had aspiration pneumonia, still septic, dehydrated, etc. We are once again pressured to sign a DNR. They had me talk to the palliative care doc who further encourages me to sign. The medical reports said he was a paraplegic at this point. He wasn’t. He is Intubated again, sedated, and never really comes out of it. They send him to an LTAC hospital. At that point, he was desperately trying to breathe. The bi-pap wasn’t working and we were into the 4th month. He had suffered so throughout this horrible ordeal, where the doctors followed the death protocol. I know they knew he ultimately wasn’t going to make it. After we had visited my dad at LTAC and went home, 2 hours later they called to tell us he had “expired.” I tried so hard to save him from this evil. I feel like I failed him. I will never forgive myself. I miss him so much.